I finally caught up on both these episodes and truly loved them. I was hysterically laughing through both of them. Let's begin shall we?
Part I....
Nick needs a new cell phone but has no line of credit. So he tries to pretend to be the guy who doesn't need a phone. Jess has a run in with one of her kid's dad's (after she taught a sex ed class dressed as Mr. Monogamy). Hysterical, the words on the blackboard that say instead of sex we can watch TV and hold hands. (I had to take 30 condoms off cucumbers) The parent is Dermot Mulroney (Yum!). She basically tells him off for being a bad parent and then gets yelled at by the principal who says she has to apologize because he pays so much money to the school.
She is on her way over to Russel's office when her car breaks down awkwardly in the middle of the road. He is behind her and offers to get his tow truck to come (she says she will push it a mile) and then gives her his car to drive and bring back to his house for his BBQ. She takes Nick with her and he keeps protesting the rich man. That is until he sees Russel's office and loves his chair, his desk, his hat and his chair sweater. He starts making calls at his desk about how he is the big man and making deals.
At the party Jess tries to use the Japanese talking bidet and hits too many buttons.It ends up soaking her with 5 happy faces and Russell turns it off. He feeds her an open faced duck spring roll, so good she can punch him. Russel gives Nick his spare phone, lets him keep the sweater and convinces Jess to go on a date with him. This was not too long till she fell into the Koi pond and got drenched, ahaha.
In other parts, Schmidt is super good at trivia and Winston is upset by this. He feels outshown by him in front of Shelby. Winston tries to memorize the answers with the little kid he babysits. He ends up shouting out the wrong answers to impress her. Cute! Schmidt is amazing and smart and I really love him more every time i watch. Schmidt offers to put some Jodeci on, I swear I was gut laughing, so funny.
We end with Nick still at the desk saying funny quotes like asking to buy China for a kabillion dollars. Hysterical.
Part II....
Jess went on an awkward date with Russell and at the end he ends up patting her on the back. She wants to know what is wrong and CeCe tells her to call him. She goes on another date with him and then talks about how their bodies are decaying, um weird. He gets a phone call during dinner, says he has to go, drops money on the table and then $100 extra for cab fare.
Nick's old law school friend Dirk is staying with them. They all decide to have a huge party at the house and bring home undergraduate girls to hook up with. Nick thinks he is the smartest man alive so agrees to everything he says. CeCe dresses up like a librarian for Scmidt and he says no. He doesn't like the fact that she tells people she owns him and he is the sex-cretary. He says no and she says he needs to say goodbye to the girls, he calls them Harold and Kumar and says to her boobs no more trips to White Castle. If she agrees to have sex in fantasy place #3 he will do it, she says yes.
Meanwhile, Shelby is off to a bachelorette party in Mexico. Winston says she should go and they should have space. She gets angry and leaves. He then asks Schmidt what happened and he realizes that space is not the same thing and he borrows Schmit's car (manbulance) again to drive to Mexico to get her. While he is in the car, we cut to seeing CeCe and Scmidt naked in the trunk, or fantasy place #3. He drives 2.5 hours to the Mexican border (I thought they lived in Chicago? It doesn't take that short to get there) he is playing the soundtrack to Wicked the whole way there and singing (I swear I almost died at how funny this is, I love Wicked!) and realizes he loves Shelby and she says she is back at the apartment. He turns around, tells her he loves her and gets stopped at the border. While there, the cop asks if he is smuggling immigrants over and he laughs, but they find naked Schmidt and CeCe in the car. Jigs up!
Back at the house, the party is a rager. Nick is so drunk. Russell shows up to tell Jess he is sorry. He forgot to give his daughter's asthma inhaler to her and she had an attack and had to go. He really does like her. He drives her and Dirk, Nick and some girls away and Nick ends up puking on the side of the road. He thinks he is in a forest and cant find them again. Jess and Russell end up kissing, finally.
Part I....
Nick needs a new cell phone but has no line of credit. So he tries to pretend to be the guy who doesn't need a phone. Jess has a run in with one of her kid's dad's (after she taught a sex ed class dressed as Mr. Monogamy). Hysterical, the words on the blackboard that say instead of sex we can watch TV and hold hands. (I had to take 30 condoms off cucumbers) The parent is Dermot Mulroney (Yum!). She basically tells him off for being a bad parent and then gets yelled at by the principal who says she has to apologize because he pays so much money to the school.
from fox.com
She is on her way over to Russel's office when her car breaks down awkwardly in the middle of the road. He is behind her and offers to get his tow truck to come (she says she will push it a mile) and then gives her his car to drive and bring back to his house for his BBQ. She takes Nick with her and he keeps protesting the rich man. That is until he sees Russel's office and loves his chair, his desk, his hat and his chair sweater. He starts making calls at his desk about how he is the big man and making deals.
from fox.com
At the party Jess tries to use the Japanese talking bidet and hits too many buttons.It ends up soaking her with 5 happy faces and Russell turns it off. He feeds her an open faced duck spring roll, so good she can punch him. Russel gives Nick his spare phone, lets him keep the sweater and convinces Jess to go on a date with him. This was not too long till she fell into the Koi pond and got drenched, ahaha.
In other parts, Schmidt is super good at trivia and Winston is upset by this. He feels outshown by him in front of Shelby. Winston tries to memorize the answers with the little kid he babysits. He ends up shouting out the wrong answers to impress her. Cute! Schmidt is amazing and smart and I really love him more every time i watch. Schmidt offers to put some Jodeci on, I swear I was gut laughing, so funny.
We end with Nick still at the desk saying funny quotes like asking to buy China for a kabillion dollars. Hysterical.
from fox.com
Part II....
Jess went on an awkward date with Russell and at the end he ends up patting her on the back. She wants to know what is wrong and CeCe tells her to call him. She goes on another date with him and then talks about how their bodies are decaying, um weird. He gets a phone call during dinner, says he has to go, drops money on the table and then $100 extra for cab fare.
from ew.com
Nick's old law school friend Dirk is staying with them. They all decide to have a huge party at the house and bring home undergraduate girls to hook up with. Nick thinks he is the smartest man alive so agrees to everything he says. CeCe dresses up like a librarian for Scmidt and he says no. He doesn't like the fact that she tells people she owns him and he is the sex-cretary. He says no and she says he needs to say goodbye to the girls, he calls them Harold and Kumar and says to her boobs no more trips to White Castle. If she agrees to have sex in fantasy place #3 he will do it, she says yes.
Meanwhile, Shelby is off to a bachelorette party in Mexico. Winston says she should go and they should have space. She gets angry and leaves. He then asks Schmidt what happened and he realizes that space is not the same thing and he borrows Schmit's car (manbulance) again to drive to Mexico to get her. While he is in the car, we cut to seeing CeCe and Scmidt naked in the trunk, or fantasy place #3. He drives 2.5 hours to the Mexican border (I thought they lived in Chicago? It doesn't take that short to get there) he is playing the soundtrack to Wicked the whole way there and singing (I swear I almost died at how funny this is, I love Wicked!) and realizes he loves Shelby and she says she is back at the apartment. He turns around, tells her he loves her and gets stopped at the border. While there, the cop asks if he is smuggling immigrants over and he laughs, but they find naked Schmidt and CeCe in the car. Jigs up!
Back at the house, the party is a rager. Nick is so drunk. Russell shows up to tell Jess he is sorry. He forgot to give his daughter's asthma inhaler to her and she had an attack and had to go. He really does like her. He drives her and Dirk, Nick and some girls away and Nick ends up puking on the side of the road. He thinks he is in a forest and cant find them again. Jess and Russell end up kissing, finally.
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