Jersey Shore: Shower and Angelina returns!

Ronnie spends most of his time in his gorilla costume trying to scare the roommates. They are throwing snooki her shower and trying to hide it from her. They tell Jionni and he has to make sure that he does not go to the baby store with her. I guess they bought it all. They have her shower for her and she is so surprised. Her friends from home are there and she is really happy. Good job girls! But we end with Vinny pulling Jionni aside to talk.

Meanwhile, MVP is at the club and Mike is back to doing his thing. Problem is that Paula is there and she blocks him. He is not happy about this. While at the club, they also spot Angelina. She is trying to get to say I'm sorry to all of them, but they do not care. She will not leave them alone.

Jersey Shore: The Un-Breakup

Situation wants to break up with Paula. He even tells random people his thoughts which gets back to Paula. She confronts him on the phone saying if you want to break up tell  me. He says I will come see you at the tanning salon. Vinny and Pauly go too, thinking it will be a show. He basically tans, then says lets take it slower and she says OK and they kiss. Stupid girl.

The other girls are making a shower for Snooki, which is really cute. She talks about how Mike will not be invited to the wedding. And unless Vinny apologizes to Jionni, either will he.

Jersey Shore: Sneaky Dickens

Not sure where they get these names, but Mike has been flirting with girls left and right and does not understand why this is wrong. He is most likely going to break up with her soon.

Deena continues to be a meatball and she doesn't understand why this is wrong. Sammi is honest with her and tells her that she is too clingy. She mentions this to Chris and he basically says not to be so clingy.

Jersey Shore: Mike Cheats

Roger and Jenni patch things up. He even invites her home friends out and she is so happy to see them. Snooks tries to cook dinner for Jionni and either he is too nice or something, but her chicken parm does not look good and she has no idea how to turn the oven on. Ronnie and Sam are the same, except they leave Deena drunk at the bar. Her mom calls and Sam tells Deena's mom that she is drunk and alone. Her mom is furious and Deena comes home and says its ok for her mom to come get her. She yells at Ronnie (after they had that intimate and awkward talk about orgasms) and says nobody knows how she feels. Then asks boyfriend Chris to get her, but he says no and to stop being selfish. Oh boy.

Meanwhile, Mike is out at the club, after being wifed up. He lets some girls grind on him and touches them. Problem? Paula's friends are also at the club and they warn him that they are going to tell on him. He needs to really be more careful. They don't tell and Paula is still happy and in love with him. Pauly and Vinny replace all of Deena's photos with a gay montage of themselves, so funny.

Jersey Shore: It's Official

The whole crew go down to witness Mike asking Paula to be his girlfriend. She accepts and the minute she does, she turns into a different person. She will not be quiet and talks about marriage and babies and I can see him getting uncomfortable. I would too! Mike then decides to buy Snooki a running stroller as a gift. very nice! She wont accept it and the feud continues between them.

Deena is in the drunk tank and then finally gets let out. Her parents are as understanding as they can be and she needs to sleep it off. We end with Jenni fighting with Roger AGAIN and I wonder why they are still together.

Jersey Shore: Girlfriend Situation

Jenni and Roger are fighting about the fight that broke out on someone's stoop. I am not sure why they are together still! She actually ends up fracturing her ankle. Snooki is more than excited because she will have someone to sit with. They can go to the club and sit in the corner together.

Mike ends up asking Paula to be his girlfriend, which is super cute. She even sends him chocolate covered strawberries. Deena is looking for a meatball. She gets out of bed, with bed hair, then goes to the bar. She drinks and interviews people to be a meatball. She gets really drunk and goes to the shore store. Instead of taking her home, they let her drink more. She walks out into the street to dance and gets caught by the cops. She has no idea why, but then starts crying. I don't feel bad for her. She is trying to be Snooks!

Jersey Shore: Roger's Surprise

Deena thinks she has TSS from leaving her tampon in for 2 days, dumb girl. Snooki moves out into the apartment next door. Jionni takes her to Steak Unlimited, fancy? The rest of the crew heads out for Karaoke and make Mike sing Rehab, funny or cruel?The guys find their new spot on Snooki's porch, but Vinny and Jionni never say hi to each other, so weird. There is a girl stalking them and shows them her boobs and her Vjay Jay, classy!

Jenni is making Roger a surprise party. She doesn't do much, but he is late and then he is rude to her when she is upset. He almost leaves his own party. The only cute part is they end up throwing a shower for Snooki and put balloons in their shirts to make her feel better. They all go out and a guy is all over Mike saying they went to high school together. Pauly's boys are there and tell him to leave but he will not. So they get into a fight with him. It turns into a huge one and Roger gets involved. Jenni tries to stop him, but he pushes her out of the way. Until next time!

Jersey Shore: Series Premiere

And they are back! 2 hour series premiere with all your favorite meatballs. Let's see how they all have been doing.

Situation - Has been clean and sober, no drinking or pills for a while now. He is still dating Paula. He goes to the house and cooks dinner for them. The problem with him now is that he is always giving speeches and waxing poetic to people who do not want to hear. His goal is to make up with Snooki, but she wants none of it. He shares a room with Vinny and Pauly and wants to bring back MVP. They seem to like him a lot better.

Snooki - Is preggo and not sure why she is back at the house. She is bummed she cannot hang out and asks to move out to a separate living environment to be away from the partying. She complains to Jionni, but just seems to be not in the right place.

Jwoww - Still with Roger and living with him. She is partying with Deena. Snooki doesn't like this. In real time news, they are engaged!

Sam & Ron - Are back together. They have their own room this time. They seem to be fine, until he drinks. Then he just says mean things to her and tosses her to the side.

Vinny - Still Vinny. He has his mom stir his oatmeal for him. He is happy to have the situation to talk to, since he still has his anxiety problems.

Pauly - Still the same. Tons of hair gel. Tons of girls. Just not on their period.

Deena - Looks like she is the new Snooki. She has a serious boyfriend and every time she thinks about being away from him, she cries. Its annoying. She has also gotten slimmer and it seems she got a nose job, some botox and some veneers.

Jersey Shore: Season 5 Reunion

Well its that time, for small head, big body girl announcer to do the reunion. Let's see what has been going on with our favorite Jersey degenerate castmates.

Snooki gets super mad about how he still wants to talk about them hooking up. My theory on this is that the more mad she gets, the more guilty she looks. I think that if she thought it was no big deal, people would not think they really hooked up. She says they will never be friends again. Then Jenni weighs in and says Mike should apologize to them all for his behavior throughout the season. He gets so mad and walks off, where Jenni tries to calm him down off screen.

from mtv.com

Deena talks about her time there and Vinny and Pauly talk about their bromance. Jenni talks about her romance with Roger. Nothing too exciting here. I did like how they revisited the pranks and how Mike was being a bitch about it. And we got to see Lola the bunny. I wonder how pregnant Snooki was during this taping?

Finally, we learn that although Ronnie and Sammy were America's favorite couple this season, they are no longer together. They are totally civil, but have decided to go separate ways. Strange. You would never have guessed it.

Well, get ready for more fist pumping and GTL on this Thursday when Pauly D's show begins. This I am actually really excited for, are you?

Jersey Shore: The Finale

Well, I never thought this day would come. No more day drinking at Jenks, smashing in the smush room and Jersey Turnpiking in a fat suit. This episode was mildly entertaining, but I have to say that I am looking forward to this end of an era. Let's begin, shall we?

Everyone comes home to the inside out shore house as Vinny and Pauly are sipping Mai Tais in the baby pool. Mike is upset that his bed is outside the house and throws a little bitch fit about it. It starts to rain and unlike everyone else who brought their stuff in, he leaves it outside to get soaked. They feel bad for him and help him bring it all in again. Cry me a river Mike.

Snooki and Mike go for drinks at Jenks and he tells her all the bad things he heard about Deena's sister. Under the censor, I think he tells her that she is a squirter. Not sure why that is censored, but it is. He tells her not to tell, but of course she will. They go to the club and she sees her sister there with Mike's brother and she chooses not to say anything. Mike realizes that if this works, him and Deena will be sharing lots of family holidays together. Deena's sister is MUCH better looking than her. Mike's brother, however, is not better looking than Mike.

from mtv.com

Vinny decides to hang out with this butch lesbian couple. He takes them home and begs Ronnie and Sam to let him have the smush room. I mean, it is the smush room, not Ronnie and Sam's personal bedroom. He has a threesome with the two lesbians. EW. Everyone thinks he has conquered this amazing feat.

from mtv.com

They have a water balloon prank war with each other and the girls get trapped on the balcony. It shows how playful and fun they all are. Then they have family dinner and reminisce that they had great summers. Sammi says this was her favorite summer so far and why not? Her and Ron were totally normal and did not fight nor were they the center drama of the show, it turned to Snooki and the Situation.

from ew.com

They all say their goodbyes and Vinny and Pauly have the cutest hug goodbye ever. I loved it really. It is so sweet how they have such a good bromance.

Jersey Shore: The Milk Fight

I have to say that this episode actually had me interested. It was more about the drama that has been brewing all season and less about getting wasted at the club. Let's begin, shall we?

We start with Mike telling Jionni that him and Snooki got it on before Italy. Jionni basically says nothing, thanks him and walks away. Mike did not get the reaction he was hoping for. He tells the rest of the guys in the house and they assume that Jionni doesn't care about Nicole. They think he has been cheating on her and that is why it is OK if she hooked up with Mike. Not the case. He gets back into bed with Nicole and they laugh about it and cuddle. He trusts his woman, but should he? He begs her not to say anything and she agrees.

They sit down to family dinner. Snooki suggests they go camping. Then a food fight breaks out. First it starts innocently and then Snooki takes her anger out on Mike. She begins throwing things at him and yelling about how he is such a liar. They start chasing each other with cole slaw onto the roof porch. Finally, she grabs a jug of milk and pours it all over him. This fight must end!

from wetpaint.com

Its camping day and Vinny and Pauly decide to stay home. They lament that guidos don't camp. How can they do their blowouts and GTL out in the woods? Agreed. Instead they decide to play a huge prank on the house. They want to make the inside the outside and the outside the inside. Not sure why they thought of this prank, but OK let's play along. They even recruit Danny from the Shore store and his coworkers to help move furniture. They convince him to help by saying this is to get back at team meatball. They lay fake grass on the living room and use a blow up pool as the hot tub.

from ew.com

Meanwhile, the crew is camping. Jenni successfully sets up her tent and so does Mike. Ronnie is left trying to figure it all out. Deena tells Snooki that she has changed since this summer. She only wants to hang out with Jionni and she misses their girl time. Jenni agrees and Snooki just rolls her eyes.

One more episode left for the finale. Then we begin the spin offs. I am kind of excited to see Pauly D's, since it will be like Entourage with blowouts. But for Snooki and Jwoww invading Jersey City, NJ, how much fun will it be if she is preggo, engaged and cannot drink and be stupid? Yikes.

Jersey Shore: The war on Snooki

This episode was all over the place. I am excited to say the season will be over soon and the spinoffs will begin. Pauly D's spinoff reminds me of entourage, which is sorely missed on a daily basis. Snooki and JWow's show may be hindered by this new baby news? Let's begin....

All the singles go out and somehow Angelina is there. WHAT? Weird. She had her chance, but she lost it not once, but twice. I still have to say its disgusting how the guys kick the girls out of they are not DTF. Pauly is the meanest. Mike at least lets them sleep over. After he makes them all change into his clothes. Mike orders breakfast but has no cash for the tip, so he gives the delivery boy protein powder, haha.

It's Jenni and Roger's one year anniversary. So she wants to set up the smush room with candles, rose pedals, body paint, clay penis molds, fuzzy handcuffs, etc. Vinny and Pauly are sick of the misuse of the smush room so they try to hide the bed outside on the porch.

Everybody is on Deena's case about her new guy Joey. She gets super annoying with him at the club and tries to ask him if he is interested. He warns her to leave him alone, but she doesn't listen. Trouble in paradise.

Mike's master plan is coming out. The unit comes out with them so he can tell Jionni about what happened with him and Snooki. The unit gets too drunk however, gets picked up by the cops and thrown into the drunk tank. Plan bombed. So Mike decides to pull Jionni over and tell him what happened himself. This is how the episode ends.

from ew.com

How do you think the truth will feel in the jersey shore house? Probably almost as good as it will feel when this season ends. No more drinking for Snooki with a baby in her belly!

Jersey Shore: Let's go Crabbing

The gang goes out and Jionni needs to throw up. Nicole is so selfish that she is mad at him for throwing up and passing out. Hasn't she done this like every episode? She is more concerned with getting it in. Yuck. Jwoww is also pissed that Roger would rather have a chicken salad sandwich after laying a guy out then lay out with her. She had to poop first though, ew.

The gang decides to go fishing and crabbing at the dock. The meatballs get into a blow up raft and try to swim away. They think someone yells shark as they try to get out, but they were really saying sharp. I was confused by this too. Can they not swim? Some people catch crabs and others catch fish. Mike lays down to suntan and they place a crab on his belly.

from ew.com

Pauly's stalker Vanessa is back. Jwow tries to have a heart to heart with her and remind her to stay away. Pauly thinks she is messing with his blowout. She is one of the ugliest stalkers he has had so far.

from ology.com

Mike and Snooki make a bet. The loser has to wear Lola for 10 minutes to Karma. Snooki loses and wears Lola. I love when she comes out! The meatballs decide to hop the fence and get on the beach, which is illegal and the cops come. They know her by name. Snooki and Vinny go and hang out and we see that there may be some romance still there for them. He seems to understand her and that is what she truly needs. They play this cute old couple scenario as they dance together.

I am ultra bored by this show. I need something good to happen STAT. Even Ronnie and Sam are not providing any entertainment. HELP!

Jersey Shore: The Boobs Are Out

Jenni and Roger make up and she decides to wear the smallest outfit with her girls hanging out to make him remember what he could have been missing. She is too nervous to be at the bar though, because they may fall out at any minute. She even offers to buy a t-shirt so she could be fight ready. By the end, some guy is bothering her so much that Roger punches him out. I wouldn't mess with him, but hey, some people don't know any better.

from ew.com

Team meatball bake Danny a cake, but somebody took a bite out of it. They automatically assume its Mike so it sends him spiraling back into hate Snooki mode. They realize it was Pauly and apologize, but it may be too late. Mike is ready to take Snooki down. Let Jionni know she has cheated and have the unit help. Snooki's doc says she cannot drink on her UTI antibiotics. She doesn't listen, she gets wasted and tells the camera that her UTI is drunk too.

from ew.com

Vinny and Pauly have a scene where he loses the keys. They are like an old married couple. We hardly hear anything about Ron and Sam anymore. I maybe saw them dance and kiss out of the corner of my eye. Mike tries to hit on Snooki, but she denies him.

Deena wants to do sex with this guy Joey. After the club, Pauly puts all the dirty dishes and pots and pans from the kitchen on her bed. EW. This is just mean. She is so drunk at first, she doesn't even notice. Then she does and smashes anyway. Snooki tells Jenni she wants to watch and she does in the corner, like a little gremlin. MERP.

Nothing really too concrete here. Just the same boozing, Jersey turnpiking, Tanning and Laundry. This is starting to get a bit stale, don't you think?

Jersey Shore: Pauly has a stalker!

Sometimes I watch this and wonder why... do you?

Deena's sister is dating Mike's brother. Awkward. Situation is trying to get the lowdown on this relationship. He is also done playing Mr. nice guy and wants to take Snooki down.

Jenni and Roger are not in a good place. He tells the boys at the gym that he is not going to play games and she should just call him. She calls him and they get into a huge fight. It may be dumpsville for Jenni. Nothing a little partying with the meatballs cant fix.

from ew.com

Speaking of meatballs. They decide to do the dip on Danny not once, but twice while on the job. He is furious with them and they have to do maybe more than apologizing or they may get kicked out. Although it seems threatening I am pretty sure Mr. nobody Danny shore store owner cant kick them off the show that makes millions, right? Ronnie tries to have fun and buys a bean bag toss game. Snooki thinks the box is more fun than the game.

from ology.com

Meanwhile, Pauly and Vin are trying to hook up. They are successful as Deena is their wing woman. Pauly has a stalker. She sits outside the shore store in a "cabs are here" t-shirt and Vinny finally makes him talk to her at the bar. She is busted! Poor her. She is in love with Pauly. She may have stuck a GPS in his blowout,  haha.

from wetpaint.com

Snooki has a funny scene with the bunny head as she puts makeup on it and talks to it like its a real person, actually hysterical. She calls the bunny Lola. I think that Donnie Darko bunny costume is by far the funniest thing on this show. Don't you?

I am mostly bored with this show. There are a few funny scenes, but really. And what is going on with Sam and Ron? Are they done with drama? I miss them fighting just a little bit, don't you? I am kind of hoping that the Jwoow and Snooki spin off and the Pauly D one are so much better.

Jersey Shore: Mr. Nice Guy

Snooki has a UTI and cannot stop peeing. She tells the cameras that this does NOT stand for Universal Tanning Institute, haha. She even pees in the corner of their deck, EW. Does she not want to go to the doctor? Her dad comes to visit in the middle of her personal hair session with JWoww and she makes him get her cranberry juice.

from ew.com

Everyone is super creeped out how nice Mike is being. He is so used to being the villain. They all go day drinking and Mike runs off to hang out with his other friends. They all have an issue with this, but I don't. I think he spends all of his time in that house so he should be allowed to hang out with other people, right?

There is a small part about how Roger is ignoring Jwoww. Even Mike runs into him at the shore and Jwoww is super mad that he was out with his friends and has not called her.

Now that Vinny is back they can all try to get girls as they all do when they are out at Karma. They play a game with the roommates called warm beer. One person has the warm beer cup that has soot on the bottom. They need to draw a nose, moustache, chin, etc on the next person's face as sort of a memory game. Snooki ends up with all of the soot on her face, haha. It is actually pretty funny, but I am still unsure of the whole point of the game.

After the entire episode of drinking and peeing, Mike decides he doesn't want to play nice anymore. He is going to take Snookie down, because he thinks she is behind all of this.

from mtv.com

Are these story lines getting stale?

Jersey Shore: Vinny Returns

I was starting to lose faith in these tanaerexic kids, but this episode was quite funny. The owner of the shore store tells them that he is going to look for a new employee/roommate since Vinny has left and Mike is MIA. The kids aren't having it. Jenni makes shore to rip down the help wanted sign on the front.

Mike comes moseying back talking about how sensitive he really is. Little does he know that all the girls are planning this huge bash for him and Pauly as a late birthday surprise. They even hire a stripper for each of them. How thoughtful.

The two meatballs, Snooki and Deena, are getting decorations at the Shore party store when they come across these life-sized bunny costumes. They put them on and pretend to do each other bunny style. Actually quite funny. Deena even calls Vinny to see if he will come to his boyfriend's birthday and he says no, he's not ready yet.

from wetpaint.com

They go to the surprise party and Mike is super surprised. He is having a great time with his blonde stripper. So much fun he brings her home with him. She starts complaining about needing matching socks and ones that are new and he realizes she is too much maintenance.

They all decide to go out on couple night. Mike invites Paul, Jenni and Snooks ask their boyfriends, Pauly goes solo and even Deena calls up a man to come with her. They get there and the only thing I see is two girls on the ground. When we finally pull them apart, we see its Sammi and some random chick. Sammi explains that the girl pulled her hair "nobody pulls my new weave" and she got physical with her. Since when did Sammi get so tough? She fights Jwoww and all of the sudden she is Muhammad Ali? Pssh.

from ew.com

They all go back home and Mike starts talking about being Paula's boyfriend. Snooki starts talking about having a heart attack, although she is not. Weird.

The next day, Pauly cant take it anymore, he wakes up everyone and decides they are going to drive to Staten Island and go get Vinny. They pile up in two escalades and head over there. They start screaming, knocking on the door and ringing the bell until somebody opens it. They stampede up to Vinny's room and see him. He is all buff, he got a new tattoo (he is really working on himself, uh huh) and they ask him to come home. He is not really ready (and either is his mom who is crying her eyes out), but he agrees to come anyways. In the car ride home he talks about wanting to get laid.

from wetpaint.com

And the crew is back together and every body's hearts are resown up. Hurray.

Jersey Shore: Dropping Like Flies

One recapper wrote that people have given up on this show, and I can see why. Is it really funny to watch them go tanning and get smashed at Karma every night? Even their cast mates are dropping like flies.

from mtv.com

Vinnie has gone home, but for good? Deena is too busy crying her eyes out to notice. What does she wear, how does she doe her hair and makeup? YUCK. For real. Her and Snookie have a meatball day where they go day drinking and wear outfits that don't even cover their kukas. I am actually embarrassed by them.

This episode actually focused on a theme. It was Pauly and Mike's birthday, but sans Mike. It seems that Pauly's whole family came and they made a cake for him, but nothing for Mike. So during the birthday dinner he slept it off on a couch at the restaurant.

Pauly decides to bang a tattoo chick in Vinny's bed to honor his man. I have to say that he really is mean when girls don't want to DTF him. The girl in the beginning didn't and he kicked her out.

Situation has been maybe getting wifed up by his girl Paula. But he goes through some kind of revelation when he realizes nobody likes him and he basically disappears off the show. Will he be back? "I wear my heart on my sleeve" he says.

And why are Sammy and Ronnie so quiet? Will they start a storm soon?

I don't know people. I think that Jersey Shore is headed for cancellation? However, I did hear rumors they may film in Hoboken, did you?

Jersey Shore, Bye Bye Vinny

Another day at the shore, or so we think.

Vinny has clinical anxiety and cannot be here anymore. Funny, he has been on the show for so many seasons, yet this is the first time it has come up? Ron tries to cheer him up with some mani-pedis, even the boys do some GTL, but that does not work. Nothing can cheer Vinny up!

Meanwhile, Pauly is tan-arexic as he tans so much he burns his entire face. "I went tanning and tanning and tanning". Hahaha.

from ew.com

The girls are boozing it up at the club, after Deena jokes she is not drinking tonite. Situation takes home yesterday's recycle girl Paula from the club. Pauly takes home a girl to the smush room so Vinny can get some shut eye. She ends up stealing his chain. Not by accident, we see her pick it up and put it down her pants. He is living, where is this chain? She finally comes by the next day to see him again and return said chain. Whew. We were getting nervous there for a minute.

It starts pouring and Snooks and Jionni are soaked. He asks Mike to borrow some clothes and then offers to make him food. Snooki is uncomfortable with the niceties here so she leaves sans food. Mike is nice enough to bring it to him. I smell a bromance here. I mean, well, if they both didn't swap swords.

First night back at Karama and Snooks tries to wear undies that say "Jionni's girl" on them. Then realizes that he wont be having it and changes. We never see her put anything back on though, ew. Jionni, shockingly, doesn't like her behavior at the club and makes her leave. Deena runs into an old flame and says he will get the golden ticket. Nowhere is there mention of Ron and Sam. But I assume this will come later.

Finally, Vin decides he IS going home. He calls his sister to come get him and then tells Pauly not to give him a hard time. Pauly is clearly upset, but lets his bro go. Is this the end for Vincenzo? Doubtful. I mean he will go home, get sane and come back, right?

Back to Jersey we go!

Straight from Italy come the guidos and guidettes. I feel a little weird that they didn't get to go home and see their fam and refresh themselves. They are back to the house that started it all and are working at the t-shirt store (he must be making BANK off this show). They also get the same rooms again and poor Ron and Sam are stuck with Mike. (Doesn't Mike want to get his own room yet? There is the smush room!)

from mtv.com

They GTL (because they missed out on the REAL sun in Italy) and get "fresh to death" as they get ready to meet their boss for a welcome back drink thing. They are all moaning and groaning and dont want to go. It turns out to be a nice surprise party for them with all of their friends and family. Gianni and Snook's dad are there and so is Ryder, Vinny's momma and Uncle Nino, Mike's friend Unit and tons of other randoms, including Jenny's bf Roger.

A small fight starts to break out, because Snookie is upset about the Unit being there and Mike is still stuck on this he slept with Snookie thing. Jionni sleeps over and the Unit and Mike talk about him in the morning as he is walking around.

Pauly and Ryder are flirting and this somehow upsets Deena. They make out at the table and go back to his room where they lay down together. Deena comes in and sits at the bottom of the bed, awkward, cock block and then she decides to leave. There are jokes that everybody Rides HER. Since, she has no slept with Vinny, Unit and Pauly. Will Mike get a turn next?

Vinny goes on to say how homesick he is and that small time with his family was not long enough. This will foreshadow another character going home. (First Sam, then Ron, now maybe Vinny). Doesn't anybody stick around Jersey anymore?

I am not sure how many more seasons I can handle of this. I think that one day they are going to have to stop being sloppy, work a real job and wear sunscreen.

Are you happy they're back?