We've all been there. The extremely awkward first time. Well, when you put Jess and Paul in bed together you get a whole lot of awkward!
She decides she wants to have sex with him. She realizes she has no idea what she is doing in bed, since she was only in one relationship for 6 years with the same guy. She has four moves, all of which are weird. She asks the guys for advice and stumbles onto Schmidt's laptop which has tons of weird porn. She watches for about 5 hours and then talks to the roomies. Schmidt tells her to lightly choke him. Nick doesn't really chime in and we see why. Winston says he is the best at sex. They go into a funny story about Nick's first time where he didn't get his pants down all the way. "I'm going to tap him like a maple tree" she says. They then go into how Nick and old girlfriend Caroline used to sound, like a rescue miner "are you OK, yeah are you?" omg. I die.
A small interlude of Nick not wanting to get a haircut. He thinks that getting a haircut is like being trapped. They talk to you and you have to sit in the chair. He is right, in some way. He ends up at Winston's barber that give him a fade and some weird line going up the side of his head. Sort of like Vanilla Ice. We also see some youtube video of guy getting hair cut as blood spurts out of his head, ew.
Jess goes lingerie shopping with CeCe and ends up buying some weird piece that looks like rope intertwined with a starfish in the middle of her belly. She is not allowed to try it on, so she just buys it. She tries to get herself into the contraption, fails and then finally succeeds. Her and Paul try to do the nasty. She begins by doing role playing or her version of it. She does strange English voices and old lady voices and so does Paul. She rips off her clothes, revealing said star and begins to choke Paul. He gets freaked out and runs out.
Schmidt has this whole other thing at his all girls office. He is in rivalry with coworker (Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri - Banger sisters?) and he gets himself invited to his boss' baby shower chock full of women. He goes for the party animal approach to get them to like him, drinks shots, even downs a bottle of pedilyte and throws said preggo boss into the pool. They have a blast and he shows up his coworker and even brings a girl home who does the walk of shame the next day.
He comes back to the next day to apologize for leaving but to admitting that she is so much more experienced then he is. They get it on in the elevator as only a hot sex scene would continue. The guys get in the elevator post-sex and notice Jess is missing her shoe. Does missing shoe = sex?
She decides she wants to have sex with him. She realizes she has no idea what she is doing in bed, since she was only in one relationship for 6 years with the same guy. She has four moves, all of which are weird. She asks the guys for advice and stumbles onto Schmidt's laptop which has tons of weird porn. She watches for about 5 hours and then talks to the roomies. Schmidt tells her to lightly choke him. Nick doesn't really chime in and we see why. Winston says he is the best at sex. They go into a funny story about Nick's first time where he didn't get his pants down all the way. "I'm going to tap him like a maple tree" she says. They then go into how Nick and old girlfriend Caroline used to sound, like a rescue miner "are you OK, yeah are you?" omg. I die.
A small interlude of Nick not wanting to get a haircut. He thinks that getting a haircut is like being trapped. They talk to you and you have to sit in the chair. He is right, in some way. He ends up at Winston's barber that give him a fade and some weird line going up the side of his head. Sort of like Vanilla Ice. We also see some youtube video of guy getting hair cut as blood spurts out of his head, ew.
Jess goes lingerie shopping with CeCe and ends up buying some weird piece that looks like rope intertwined with a starfish in the middle of her belly. She is not allowed to try it on, so she just buys it. She tries to get herself into the contraption, fails and then finally succeeds. Her and Paul try to do the nasty. She begins by doing role playing or her version of it. She does strange English voices and old lady voices and so does Paul. She rips off her clothes, revealing said star and begins to choke Paul. He gets freaked out and runs out.
from fox.com
Schmidt has this whole other thing at his all girls office. He is in rivalry with coworker (Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri - Banger sisters?) and he gets himself invited to his boss' baby shower chock full of women. He goes for the party animal approach to get them to like him, drinks shots, even downs a bottle of pedilyte and throws said preggo boss into the pool. They have a blast and he shows up his coworker and even brings a girl home who does the walk of shame the next day.
He comes back to the next day to apologize for leaving but to admitting that she is so much more experienced then he is. They get it on in the elevator as only a hot sex scene would continue. The guys get in the elevator post-sex and notice Jess is missing her shoe. Does missing shoe = sex?
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